Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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