you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
