drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
