I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
