i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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