moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize