i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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