is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
