Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
