Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize