Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
