Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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