Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
