Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
