I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
