First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
