i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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