I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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