Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
