Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
