this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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