I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
