Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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