Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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