Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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