omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
