Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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