i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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