It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
