That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
