He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
