i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
