I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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