I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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