I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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