he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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