There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
