# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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