She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
