just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize