On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
