we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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