I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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