Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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