The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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