i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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