why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
