spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
