it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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