woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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