highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
as a side note pls kill me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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