Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
