we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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