she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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