What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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