McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
