i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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