is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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