It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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