capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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