I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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