The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
