it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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